I’m at the hair salon, chatting with my stylist. We both realize quickly that we have two things in common: neurodivergence and queerness. I mention a girlfriend, he mentions an ex-boyfriend — we are on the same page.

Our conversation starts with my work at NAMI Oregon but soon wanders to politics. We say the thing that’s in the air without actually saying it: I’m so glad the person I’m interacting with right now is also queer. Because if you weren’t, I might be scared.

I live in Portland, Ore., where LGBTQ+ people are plentiful. I cannot leave my apartment without bumping into other queer folks, and I’m grateful for that. But even in Portland, which has a reputation for its progressive leanings, I don’t always feel safe. My partner and I present as queer — we fit the “femme/butch” stereotype, as far as queer women go — and sometimes people who aren’t part of our community notice. People yell homophobic slurs regularly.  https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/July-2023/We-Don-t-Feel-Safe-Marginalization-and-Mental-Health-Challenges-in-the-Queer-Community